I should be cleaning the house, exercising or sewing, but I’m not. I’m just sitting here on the internet, eating chocolate – not even dark chocolate. The dishwasher is open, full of clean dishes that need putting away, but I’m not doing it. I’ve got three texts that I need to respond to, but they can wait. Why? For no good reason. The boys are back in school. This is the end of their second week. I have a new found freedom and it’s making me down right rebellious. I’m a little concerned. Maybe too much free time isn’t a good thing. I’m supposed to be dieting, but I just had a bowl of soup followed by nuts, chocolate and more chocolate. The TV is on in the other room. We NEVER have TV on during the day (only at night so the children won’t think we watch TV. So they will think life is all about doing and experiencing or reading or painting or sculpting or baking. One day they will learn of our dirty secret – we are TV addicts who heroically gave it up so that our children might live better lives unburdened by the slothish pleasure of TV! They will either thank us for being so selfless or they will hate us for making them bake and sculpt. We could end up like Bette Midler at the end of ‘Stella’. Tragically watching our daughter’s (son’s in our case) wedding from outside in the rain because we pretended we were something we were not. In our case, we pretended to be high-brow non-tv watchers. In her case, she pretended to be a trashy bar maid who loved to party more than she loved her daughter. But she was actually a trashy bar maid her really loved her daughter more than anything). Things are really changing around here.
Last week was my first taste of freedom. I started out ok. I organized my closet. Cleaned the back bedroom and did a lot of gardening. This week I made a dress for my adorable god daughter, but I still need to add the buttons. I should be doing that right now. But I’m not. Oh no, I’m not. What has become of me? Who is winning here? Who am I rebelling against and why?
The house is empty and I’m just enjoying sitting here. The silent revelry of no one around to see what I’m doing is so intoxicating. So I’m telling all of you, my two or three loyal readers. I should be ashamed of myself….but I’m not.