Last year, I ranked Carter’s Halloween candy from best to worst and it created quite a stir. Well, I’m doing it again and anybody that wants to argue that Milky Ways aren’t awful can suck it. Obviously, candy corn is dead last again. Thankfully, our neighbors had a better fiscal year and we didn’t get any of that crap. Even in absentia, candy corn is the worst. But there have been some changes at the top spot. Maybe it’s my advancing age and subsequent palette changes, but Kit Kat has usurped the candy throne from Twix. Ring Pop made it to #3 largely based on the novelty of a Ring Pop. Henry actually got a mini, gummy hamburger, but ate it too quickly for me to photograph. Otherwise, that would’ve been top 5 (that house is #1 in my book btw). The variety of M&M’s we received was impressive and properly scored. You’ll notice Almond Joy is conspicuously absent. In a dick move, none of the neighbors gave them out this year. Way to ruin my Halloween. AJ is #1 ADL (all day long for those of you who never waited tables).
I don’t want to hear it about Whoppers being #6. Whoopers are so abused in the candy hierarchy. They are delicious. They are almost exactly like robin’s eggs from Easter. I love their crispy, airy quality. So just stop – stop it with your Whopper hatin’. I do question why I put Crunch ahead of Whopper. I could go both ways on that one.
All in all, it was a really good haul this year. Twizzlers, sour gummies, lots of chocolate – a little something for everybody. The oversight of Almond Joy is unforgivable though. So 2014 is the worst year for candy thus far.